beware the church going "spiritual orgasm" seekers

i officially took issue with people like those in my title line. let me explain....

there are people in the church now that are very dangerous to your health as a pastor and a danger to even some people that go to your church. i call them those seeking the spiritual orgasm. the spiritual orgasm i refer to is the moments in worship where you start yelling and screaming and the tears are running down your face and the music just hits you and you raise your hands.

now, let me say first off that there is nothing wrong with this BUT when it becomes part of your weekly routine in worship it can become dangerous. there is a group of people in our church that are very broken in a sense that life has thrown a lot at them. every week they are in the front row of the church dancing, hands raised, yelling, etc. that's great but here's where i start taking some issues. every week this group of people is outside crying, dealing with some conflict, or some issue that faces their "group". every week there is something wrong. all week long they engage in very questionable activity and make horrendous decisions but every sunday there they are crying out to God to make it all better and if they worship harder maybe this week's orgasm will change their life.

it doesn't work this way....

the christian life, the walk, whatever you want to call it, requires hard work. it takes waking up daily and dying to yourself, it takes apologizing to people even when you did nothing wrong if it will improve the health of a relationship, it takes sacrifice, it means doing "something" to change your situation.

"spiritual orgasms" can be good. when they happen every once in a while and you use those moments to springboard to something good and make changes.

if you rely on these moments as part of your weekly routine, then your relationship with God is on quicksand because there will come a day where these moments won't help you anymore. the only thing that can help you is investing in your relationship with Christ on a daily basis and learning to live like He did. until that moment....you're just hooked on a feeling.

the journey is hard...but the rewards are so worth it

so i've been doing this pastor thing since sept. of this year "officially". i've been stretched, tested, and seen amazing things.

God is alive and working but sometimes not in the ways we expect Him too.

these past few weeks have been very hard. i won't lie.

i've had to deal with a mentally disturbed person casting death threats...and i believed him. the look in his eyes told me he was serious. i had to deal with a good friend of mine having a break down. it was a long, hard night that translated into a long, hard next day.

however, what i've learned has been tremendous. God moves in the midst of it. He also requires steadfastness and faith in the face of adversity. there are times when i get tired and weary but my strength comes from the Lord.

i love my job.....but there has to be down time too.....sabbath...do it!

questions....

what am i doing here?

who am i doing it for?

am i ever going to find someone to marry...share the life...have kids?

i find myself asking these questions a lot lately. why? i am not sure.

this past week i received death threats because i had to have someone baker acted. he threatened to kill people. he got violent and threatened our admin assistant. that was scary. way scary. i had to call the cops and be the person in charge.

is this what a pastor really does? protect people from themselves when they get violent and threaten to kill people?

i wrestle with this.

i've been scared since friday night. my "friend" left town and i desperately want to tell them what happened. when i am around them i feel safe and that the world makes sense. what does this mean?

there are so many questions right now but few answers. i keep clinging to the song 'scenes'.

"i see you in every scene, i bet you are thinking about me. i have such a short memory but you keep reminding me of you".

Lord, i am trying so hard. yet, you seem so far away. are there answers in this web of confusion?