questions....

what am i doing here?

who am i doing it for?

am i ever going to find someone to marry...share the life...have kids?

i find myself asking these questions a lot lately. why? i am not sure.

this past week i received death threats because i had to have someone baker acted. he threatened to kill people. he got violent and threatened our admin assistant. that was scary. way scary. i had to call the cops and be the person in charge.

is this what a pastor really does? protect people from themselves when they get violent and threaten to kill people?

i wrestle with this.

i've been scared since friday night. my "friend" left town and i desperately want to tell them what happened. when i am around them i feel safe and that the world makes sense. what does this mean?

there are so many questions right now but few answers. i keep clinging to the song 'scenes'.

"i see you in every scene, i bet you are thinking about me. i have such a short memory but you keep reminding me of you".

Lord, i am trying so hard. yet, you seem so far away. are there answers in this web of confusion?